Wednesday, February 1, 2012

three years later

As most of you know {if you know me personally} we lost our first child to miscarriage.  Today marks 3 years since it happened.  In some sense it seems like it was just yesterday.  I remember everything: waking up in the middle of the night to painful contractions, "having" the baby, seeing him/her.  All the little details...I remember.  In another sense, it feels like it's been way more than 3 years.  So much has happened since then.  We spent another 16 months waiting for a positive pregnancy test, fielding many questions on when we were going to get pregnant, and trying to put this devastating event behind us.

Finally on July 30, 2010 that positive test finally came!!  I remember being excited, nervous, terrified; you name it, I felt it.  Then 8 months later we welcomed Samantha Caroline into the world.  She is absolutely amazing and having her helps to ease the pain of our prior loss.  I know if we hadn't suffered the loss, we wouldn't have Samantha and gosh, I wouldn't trade her for anything.  She really is amazing.

In a few short months, we will begin this journey all over again as we try to conceive baby number two.  All the emotions come rushing back and I can only hope and pray that we never have to go through anything like that ever again.

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